I just got called as a Primary worker.

Dialog with between me and some kids at church:

Uknown Child: "You don't have a baby?"

Me: "No...that's my baby (pointing to Hector)."

Megan (Child #2): "Oh, so you are like a kid."

Me: "Yeah, sure."

Megan: "So, why do you have a purse?"

Me: "Why do you have a purse?"

Megan: "It's a bag..."

To Catch a Thief

Posted September 24, 2009

This past weekend, Hector and I went with our friends Johan and Celeste to the Utah State Fair. To be honest I don't know how I feel about fairgrounds in the city...I'm not really used to that. Also, I am not used to paying for parking at the fair.

My favorite things about the fair:

1. The giant cow.

2. Baby cows.

3. Dippin' Dots. I honestly have not had dippin' dots for years. Maybe because they cost more than a gallon of ice cream.

My least favorite thing about the fair:

1. Being accused of stealing rings from a booth. Wanna hear more? I knew you would.

We were wrapping up our affair at the fair and were making our way around the last stretch of stands when I saw a jewelry stand that caught my eye. I took a special interest in the rings but none of them looked good on my fingers or fit my tiny hands. We moved on.

Hector and I caught up to Celeste and Johan who were a couple of booths away when this Indian man came up to me and asked me to come with him.

"Excuse me?" I said.

"Could you please come with me," he replied.

"...excuse me?" I echoed.

"I am missing some rings from my stand," he said.

With a sure knowledge that I did not take his rings (they didn't even look good on me), I followed him back to his stand. As soon as I got there he and his lady friend began to verbally accost me and accuse me of stealing their jewelry. He pointed out the empty slots in the midst of the rings and told me that I had stolen them. Keep in mind that he did not see me steal the rings, he had no evidence, and that their had been two other ladies (shady carni characters) perusing at the rings at the same time I was.

Hector, Johan, and Celeste were by my side. The booth keepers told me that they were going to call security over to search me. In the meantime we debated our case, reminding them that I had not been the only one at the stand throughout the evening and that there were emtpy ring slots while I was looking at the rings. They started to get really nasty, so I decided to take matters in to my own hands to prove my innocence.

I carry a large purse. I dumped that large purse out all over that man's jewelry display. I pulled out all the stops; emptied all of the pockets. I did not hesitate to dribble feminine products all over the place. This did not please him. I took my jacket off and threw it down. I pulled all of my pockets out. He was not convinced, so I then proceeded to take of my shoes and put them on his table. He was irrate at this and said that all of this was not necessary.

I then asked him, "Well, what do you want me to do?"

He and his lady friend and some aquired white trash from the stand attached to theirs, said that they wanted security to come take a look. All the while they had done nothing to call security over.

I was putting all of my stuff back in my purse and a ring accidently popped out while I was doing so and the lady friend started screaming at me, accusing me of attempting to steal again. I was not happy. I fired back at her and told her that I was not stupid and asked her why I would be dense enough to try and steal a ring at a time like this, with all eyes on me.

I was furios. Hector was furious. Johan was arguing with the white man at the stand with a red neck and that man began using inappropriate langauge with him. Totally inapproriate for a family venue. We were fed up and asked if security was coming. They had still not called. Then the man gave up and said nevermind.

What a great time we had. I think we deserved a refund.

The Advertures of Poor People

Normally we get internet via "neighbor-net" but our internet providing neighbor no longer provides internet so we've been going without internet in the home for a couple of weeks. This is not convenient as student; as a human being. The other night I had to take a quiz through Blackboard by midnight so Hector and I literally drove around in my car (brand spanking new) with laptop on lap pressing the refresh button for viewing wireless networks until we found an unsecured network we could use. That left us a block away from our house parked on the side of the road while I took my internet quiz. Shady I know but I got a 10 out of 10. I laughed at ourself and our pathetic nature in that moment.

GAH.

I am so frustrated with my blog right now because I cannot figure out how to post the date!

This one was posted on Friday, September 11, 2009.

Can I Take Your Order?

This week I didn't have time to pack my lunch so I headed down to the Cougar Eat to find something to squash the rumbling in my stomach. I decided upon Subway because I LOVE southwest sauce. Little did I remember that this week is Education Week on Campus. This Education Week is one of the world's greatest evils. I have never seen so many old people in one place in my life. Anyway, getting back to Subway, of course the line was long. Too long. I lack the Christ-like quality of patience so this was not good for my health. So besides my frustration with old people and Mormons in mass quantity there is this frustration with people who could not order a meal to save their life. I worked in the food industry for a good 4 years of my life Papa Murphy's, Costco Food Court, BYU Catering...these were not happy years. I know a fair share about customers of the food industry. They are mean and they are stupid at the sight of food. I can't explain it. I've encountered people dumping out their nasty purses to find a dime, people leaving whole meals on the floor of the food court patio (in gnawed pieces), and a pizza cutter thief (that's a good story in itself, maybe I will blog about it later).

Again...Anyway...my point is that if you have been waiting in a 20 minute line whether it be at the Costco Food Court or at the Cougar Eat Subway you should know exactly what you want by the time you get up to the front of the line. It is not as if Subway is some new fangled place in which you have never ordered a sandwich or have never seen a commercial. It has been around since the dawn of time. This is how it should go when you get up to the girl in the visor.

"What can I get for you?"

"Six-inch ham on wheat."

"What kind of cheese?"

"Provolone."

"Would you like it toasted?"

"No."

"What kind of veggies would you like?"

"Light lettuce, pickles, banana peppers, cucumbers, tomatoes and some southwest sauce."

"Can I get you anything else?"

"No, that will be all."

That is the perfect Subway scenario and that is how it is every time I go to Subway. I deserve a prize.

HOWEVER, the Cougar Eat situation this week was something far different. First off, no one was paying attention so the Subway guy had to yell "Ma'am" like six times. Then someone would tap the gabbing elderly on the shoulder to let her know it was her turn. Next, like always, they get up there and they are like I want turkey and then they don't know what kind of cheese or bread they want so Subway has to list off all the kinds of breads and cheese they offer while the person mulls over what they want, making the rest of us decisive customers wait behind them. It is not as if Subway doesn't post their variety of ingredients for all to see and make decisions upon before ordering.

Okay, that's my rant. I love people but sometimes they bug.

Lady? Gaga

I made this collage for a friend of mine that believed (past-tense because I proved her wrong) that Lady Gaga was respectable. I thought I would share it with you all.

Barcelona v. LA Galaxy

This past weekend Hector and I went on a little road trip to California to see Barcelona play the LA Galaxy at the Rose Bowl. Hector's friend Brant and his wife Natalie came with us and Brant's parents so kindly let us borrow their brand new Chrysler van which was equipped with two movie screens and ample amounts of space. We stayed one night in Vegas and then we made our way down to LA on Saturday morning.

That evening, before the game, we went to Applebee's and took advantage of their 2 for $20 special. (I would now like to take a moment to talk to you all about the Tide To Go Pen. I spilled Buffalo sauce on my pants and you wouldn't even know it because it vanished in sight of the pen. I swear by this invention.)

Moving on...

After Applebee's, I remembered that the batteries in our camera were dead and I thought it would be a good idea to stop by a store on the way to the game to pick up some batteries and get some cash from the ATM (just in case). This idea was quickly dismissed because Brant and Natalie had a camera and Hector was positive we wouldn't need any cash for the game. SO we got on the freeway to make our way to the Rose Bowl. The traffic was horrible and it took us forever to get off of the freeway and when we finally did they blocked the road that we needed to turn on and so we had to get back on the freeway and take another exit. Blah. It took another long while to get off the freeway and then the traffic all the way to the Rose Bowl was terrible. Then we were on the hill that led down to the arena and there it was a little blue sign that stated "$20 Event Parking." There we were with no cash (because no one would listen to me) and then Brant, the driver of the van, realized that he had to go to the bathroom immediately. As we were working our way down the hill rummaging through our pockets, purses, and any place that might harbor cash Brant stuffed his pockets with Kleenex's, hopped out of the driver's seat (Natalie replacing him), and headed for the hills...quite literally. We were not able to located any cash and were out of luck. The girl collecting the fee gave us directions to the nearest ATM and so we got out of line and headed to get money. After stopping at Taco Bell for directions and withdrawing $20 we headed back down the hill to the Rose Bowl. Fortunately the line from the other end was shorter and it didn't take nearly as long to get down the hill.

Finally we were inside the stadium and we quickly found our seats. Soon after we sat down this RUDE girl comes up to me and says, "That's my seat," and then steps on me to get on to the bench. Hector asked her what row she was on and after her reply he said, "No, that's your seat... back there," and pointed to the row behind us. I loved it.

If that wasn't enough during half time a shaking drunken man tried to take my seat as well. He didn't step on me but he traipsed all over my purse until I asked for his ticket and noticed that his seat was 8 rows below us.

But despite all of the stress and seat confusion the game was awesome. Messi was amazing and I got to see Beckham score off a free kick. I must mention that I am sorely disappointed in all the LA fans that booed Beckham every time he touched the ball. Have some respect. When you look that good with your shirt off you can talk.